


You Wouldn’t Hit a Girl, Would you?

by SomeonesFallenAngel



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Allison Argent & Stiles Stilinski Are Siblings, Crack, M/M, Sheriff Stilinski's Name is Noah, basically crack, step-siblings technically
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-20
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2019-06-13 14:00:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15366207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomeonesFallenAngel/pseuds/SomeonesFallenAngel
Summary: “You wouldn’t hit a girl, would you Stilinski?”“IF YOU CAN KICK ME I CAN HIT YOU. FUCKING GENDER EQUALITY BITCH. WE'RE WATCHING GREY'S ANATOMY.”





	You Wouldn’t Hit a Girl, Would you?

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah yeah yeah I know. “But Cas, we’ve been waiting for an update on your other fic why do you keep posting useless one shots?” 
> 
> THIS IS MY STRESS WRITING OKAY. I AM STRESSSSSED. 
> 
> Also I have another chapter sorta written but I hate it so... that’s a thing. Things don’t tie up in my mind. 
> 
> Anyways tAKE MY FUCKING CRACK FIC OKAY I DON’T KNOW WHERE THE HELL THIS CAME FROM.

"Give it over!" A pillow flew across the room, landing a foot away from its intended target. 

"Hell no, it's mine!" The pillow was thrown back. 

"How the hell is it yours?! We _both_ live here!" Arms flailed around, trying to express how stupid the teenage girl sounded. 

"I lived here first!" A middle finger was flipped.  

"We both live here now so _hand it the fuck over_ Argent or I _will_ start throwing punches." A smaller pillow was thrown, hitting its target this time. 

"You wouldn't hit a girl, would you Stilinski?" Allison dove away from Stiles reach, managing to get a kick in as she escaped. 

"IF YOU CAN KICK ME I CAN HIT YOU. FUCKING GENDER EQUALITY BITCH. WE'RE WATCHING GREY'S ANATOMY." Stiles jumped over the arm of the couch, running after his step sister and into the kitchen where she ran behind the island. 

"DON'T CALL ME A BITCH YOU BITCH." 

"I'M NOT THE BITCH, YOU'RE THE ONE HOGGING THE DAMN TV REMOTE. _BITCH_." 

"I GOT HERE FIRST." 

"EXACTLY, YOU'VE BEEN WATCHING TV LONGER." Allison started going one way but quickly changed direction and sped off in the direction of the basement, Stiles close behind. 

***

Now I know what you're thinking, they hate each other right? Nah, this is just a normal Friday night while Papa Argent and Pops Stilinski were out on a date. Their dads had been together for about nine months, when they decided to move in together. They told the kids they were dating at about month two, the Allison and Stiles found out about it at about week two though. They've all been living together for about six months now. 

Neither Chris or Noah had plans of getting married, after both of their previous marriages, and they still plan to keep it that way. But both of them knew the other would be their last partner unless the other one decided differently.

It was complicated, Chris being a hunter who quite often had to break the law, and Noah, being the sheriff of their town, but they made it work. 

Things were weird when they moved into Chris and Allison's house, and the Stilinski's were iffy about leaving Stiles' childhood home, but all in all, it was the best choice any of them could have made. 

Anyways, enough about the Stilinski-Argent clan's past, back to Ally and Stiles. 

***

Allison had made it into the basement, and Stiles couldn't see anything due to his sister having turned off the lights. 

He worked his way around the extra furniture and the pool table, when something grabbed him from behind, and shoved him down into a wooden chair. Ropes were tied around his wrist and legs, leaving him unable to move. 

The lights switched on to show Allison smirking and dangling the remote close to his face. 

" _WHAT THE FUCK ALLISON_?" 

"I'm gonna go watch Gotham, enjoy your stay!" 

"I literally cannot move! You be-" his words were cut off as a strip of duct tape was slapped over his mouth. 

"Aw, that's so sad. Alexa play _Despacito_ on repeat." The small speaker started playing the song as Allison sashayed away, remote in hand. She set a timer on her phone once she got to the couches in the living room, and plopped down, flipping back to her choice in shows. 

*** 

"Hey kiddo, where's Stiles?" Chris and Noah got back to the house around 11:30 pm. Chris sat on the couch next to his daughter as Noah went into the kitchen to go grab a soda. 

"He should be upstairs soo-" Her sentence was cut off by a pillow being chucked at her face. 

She dove behind the couch for  protection then checked her phone timer. "One hour, twenty-nine minutes, and thirty-seven seconds. Pretty good." 

"... I am going to snap your bow and burn your arrows." 

Chris raised an eyebrow and looked at his daughter. "Allison, what did you do, and why does Stiles look like he's about to stab you?" 

"Hi papa Argent, not much, YOUR CHILD JUST TIED ME TO A CHAIR IN THE BASEMENT." 

"Any specific reason why, Allison?" 

"... I wanted to watch Gotham?" 

"Allison. You cannot tie your brother to a chair just for a television show. Also you two realize we have another TV in the basement? And one in the game room? And your damn bedrooms?"

"... it wasn't the first thing on my mind, no." 

"The next time you two fight over something as ridiculous as this, we're removing all the TV's in the house except the one in mine and your father's room, and the door will be locked when we leave the house." Chris sighed. "Allison you're not going on any hunts with me for the next three weeks _unless_ it is an emergency." 

"That's so unfair!" 

"You tied your brother to a chair Allison." 

Noah entered the room, drinks in hand, and passed one to Chris before he sat down next to him and propped his feet up on the coffee table. "Didn't you mention that part of the Argent children's training, was tying them to a chair and seeing how long it took them to escape?" 

"Hm, I guess you're right. Plus, Stiles you were an hour faster than Allison was on her first time." Chris draped an arm across Noah's shoulders. "Welcome to the Argent family business kid." 

Stiles flailed in exasperation and stormed up to his bedroom, shouting out, "This house is a _fucking nightmare_!"

**Author's Note:**

> I’m so sorry. :’)
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> ... not.


End file.
